As I ponder,
I think not of what is now,
For the now has no place for me.
As I ponder,
I think not of what was then,
For the past is just a reminder for me.
As I ponder,
I think of what will come to be,
The problem comes from beyond to me.
As I ponder,
I do think but I am not,
One existing in what will come to be.
As I ponder,
I realise the future is not the now,
But I have no choice but to dwell there you see.
As I ponder aloud,
The voice of my mind speaks,
But it is echoed back off a wall to me.
As I scratch my head pondering,
The tears of fear and anxiety well up,
As I ponder of what to do next, help I beg and plea.
As I ponder frantically,
I have come from then to now,
But I am stuck, unmoving, I am not free.
As I ponder till fatigue come,
I close the eye of the mind,
And I slump in the corner to try and rest peacefully.
As I ponder in sadness,
I wonder now of what will be of me,
What will the future hold beyond the door of now I see.
As I ponder enviously,
I think of the luxuries of time and space,
Of breathing room that everyone has but me.
As I ponder hopelessly,
I wonder if I will ever be free,
To be cut loose from the shackles that hold and bind me.
As I ponder wishfully,
I wish there was a way out of this,
I wish there was a place for me to land softly.
As I ponder hopefully,
I hope that beyond these walls that I run into,
There will be, swaying in the wind, beautiful fields of barley.
As I ponder with eyes closed,
Whispering a prayer from the heart,
I pray for a place I can call home once again, safe and happy.
As I open my eyes and ponder on a last thought,
I look beyond to the skies, wishing ever so much,
That my heart, mind and soul can be safe and free from worry.
I can only hope.
I can only close my eyes.
I can ponder no more.
I can only start to dream.
And hopefully when I wake up,
May I have no need to ponder anymore,
For what I wish for is there, the hands to welcome me.
Home again, a place for me.
HavenTales 